Re: Arranged marriage

Souria's Social Room

Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-10-2008, 02:52 AM

Arranged marriage still has its roots in the Arab world ,here marriages are based less on love and more on the need to build new social relationships or keep the wealth in the family .

Sometimes young children betrothed to ensure solid relationships between families ,arranged marriages also had a role at time when girls of 14 or 15 married,but didn’t have life experience to choose a husband ,the advise of parents was a useful and important part of the process.

Today the custom of arranging marriages survives in India,Pakistan ,and some parts of the Arab world (if not most of it,lol) ,many ppl there still continue to feel that it offers better chances for finding a suitable mate than the "Guy meets Girl" system they have in the west

 

so are you with  arranged marriages  or you think ppl are starting to change ?  

 

I think they prefer the "arrange marriage " system coz   Love is blind and when  they fall for it they wont ask or even think about  any negative points

OR because of the traditions  cultures that they don’t like to change

 

 


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


abdallah19 05-10-2008, 07:43 AM
Lipsrsealed
طعجتو ... قام انكسر خاطروا

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-10-2008, 06:45 PM

 abdallah19 wrote:
Lipsrsealed

what?!!!Thinking


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


AXELSTONE 05-10-2008, 07:10 PM

traditions are crap specially arabic ones

they don't prefer arranged marriage coz love is blind but coz They are blind

it's just soo stupid blech


The Flame Of Delight Chases To Burn

Re: Arranged marriage


alkhalil 05-11-2008, 09:33 AM
no one will say I'm with this kind of marriage . But the girls in Pakistan or that Arabs countries you was meant
, they are not able to make them own decide , so I think it's fine for them .

You (as a syrian arabian girl ) was in school spent 12 years I think it's primary , Then college or what ever , you meet or talk with a lot of guys , you have ideas about men kinds , might were Not clear , but the point that's make you qualify to choose you company once you need .

Them , they spent the whole life with animals , sand and caves . they never meet men, except there father and brother , how they will find a husband by them self .or can know this guy is good or he is a player !in case that there is a lady has meet a man .


that is my opinion.

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-12-2008, 09:15 PM
 AXELSTONE wrote:

traditions are crap specially arabic ones

they don't prefer arranged marriage coz love is blind but coz They are blind

it's just soo stupid blech

So your against   all kinda traditions and specually Arabic ones

tayyeb can u plz name  a tradition (u think is wrong)   that we as Arabs still do


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


AXELSTONE 05-12-2008, 10:26 PM

lol i can't think of one is not wrong lol we arab always trying to put girls and boys in differnet places

ya3nee schools we make them one for each gender

not all but most of them

every thing we try to make them separate and mn zaman kan al ta5loof aktar which the guy marry a girl

WITHOUT EVEN MEETTING HER ?

what if she's ugly ? arranged marriaged are this form of marriage and am aginst it

all of our traditions are stupid i don't hate them but they're silly


The Flame Of Delight Chases To Burn

Re: Arranged marriage


Jedidiah777 05-13-2008, 01:59 AM
Thanks alkhalil, can understand this issue better now. Hope and pray life changes for some of the girls, who are cut off all their lives from society.

It's also hard to understand Confused, when a young girl is forced to marry an old man, but this happens in other places of the world as well...

Re: Arranged marriage


alkhalil 05-14-2008, 03:45 PM
Jedidiah777 thanks for comment .

Other places are called :

Third World countries .

also the guys there facing troubles . one of them (troubles )called The Animal life .



Re: Arranged marriage


alkhalil 05-14-2008, 04:07 PM
the seperate between girls and boys was not traditional , but the traditions in whole world are Not fine for us , as New generation .
in west .. they follow the cows (also in india) , they throw the tomatos on each other . etc .. all this I think it's stupid , But that point makes above acceptable , They doesn't seperate between males and females ...

Re: Arranged marriage


DubaiJazz 05-15-2008, 11:35 AM
well, whether a marriage is arranged or arbitrary; it's still much better than fornications.
This funny old world, it keeps spinning around.

Re: Arranged marriage


fallacy 05-19-2008, 10:41 AM

 DubaiJazz wrote:
well, whether a marriage is arranged or arbitrary; it's still much better than fornications.

excellent dubai........atleast the sin(fornication) is avoided.....and besides its rude to say som1 is ugly as the dude has written it somwhere up.......all Creations are nice...those who demand physical beauty are foolish to som extent.....if people are ok with arranged marriages then let them be...if you're not ok with it then keep your belief to yourself and dont call it silly just coz u dont agree to it...rather it seems to reflect how tiny your thinkin capacity and capability to respect is.......arrange marriages and love marriages both have their advantages and disadvantage.....if it gud for u then fine, if its bad then tough luck! its all on your destiny or luck or whatever u name it..

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-19-2008, 11:54 AM

 alkhalil wrote:
no one will say I'm with this kind of marriage . But the girls in Pakistan or that Arabs countries you was meant , they are not able to make them own decide , so I think it's fine for them . You (as a syrian arabian girl ) was in school spent 12 years I think it's primary , Then college or what ever , you meet or talk with a lot of guys , you have ideas about men kinds , might were Not clear , but the point that's make you qualify to choose you company once you need . Them , they spent the whole life with animals , sand and caves . they never meet men, except there father and brother , how they will find a husband by them self .or can know this guy is good or he is a player !in case that there is a lady has meet a man . that is my opinion.

Well you kinda have a point there ,true there's still  some countries that  live in the backwardness way , but what about the rest of them?!

There's alotta girls who are educated, well known  and with a university degree ,and force to marry someone that they  don’t  even like ! I mean that’s their own right  (to make a decision and pick the man of their  life)

And I don’t think any religion is against that idea

 

Anyways I respect your opinion 

You talked about the females side in the arranged marriage ,,but what the males  side?   

 

 


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


anas262 05-19-2008, 01:59 PM

ur point was not clear at the beginning of the article

u wr talkin about arranged marriage in which the parents use their mind to look for the perfect spouse to their child… but still he/she meets the other side and get to know him closely and still there is a chance to say no and call the whole thing off.. (this is what really happens in our part of the world despite what axel says)

but now seems u r talking about forcing the child to get married to some1 he/she doesn't know or doesn't LIKE..

 


Re: Arranged marriage


anas262 05-19-2008, 02:02 PM

 fallacy wrote:
all Creations are nice...those who demand physical beauty are foolish to som extent.....

 

 

I don't agree with this idea coz when I wanna get married it's very important for both sides that I find the wife that makes me feel happy just by lookin at her… u can't take some1 that u don't find to be (beautiful)

 

 


Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-19-2008, 04:50 PM
 sweet100 wrote:

 alkhalil wrote:
.

 

 

You talked about the females side in the arranged marriage ,,but what  about the males  side?   

 

 


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-19-2008, 04:51 PM
 AXELSTONE wrote:

lol i can't think of one is not wrong lol we arab always trying to put girls and boys in differnet places

ya3nee schools we make them one for each gender

not all but most of them 

I guess they do that to avoid  problems that could happen  between teenagers

 separate and mn zaman kan al ta5loof aktar which the guy marry a girl

WITHOUT EVEN MEETTING HER ?

 

what if she's ugly ? arranged marriaged are this form of marriage and am aginst it

oh MEN! is beauty all that matters to u ?!

well  I wasn't talking about  about these kinda marriages  , no one these days gets married in that old way (couples don't see each other or meet till the wedding day !!!) for sure we all  r againts that.

by the way i wonder how they used to get married  in the past (like our grand parents ) and their marriage realllly lasts happily  , plus there wasn't  much  divorces like these days.

 

all of our traditions are stupid i don't hate them but they're silly

but some traditions have a point , reason , or a meaning ( to look 4 be4 u judge it )

like for an example when all families here   r gathered up every now and  then , in holidays and in any occasions ,,frankly sometimes it gets kinda boring ,lol

but when u think about it it's really an important tradition we have

not  like in the west ,I guess most of their families gather up JUST  in funerals  Cheers

 

 


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-19-2008, 04:57 PM

 Jedidiah777 wrote:
Thanks alkhalil, can understand this issue better now. Hope and pray life changes for some of the girls, who are cut off all their lives from society.

It's also hard to understand Confused, when a young girl is forced to marry an old man, but this happens in other places of the world as well...

yeah unfortunately Jadidiah ,it happens alot but  I think they agree to marry someone old would be for a reason, like  money  


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-19-2008, 04:59 PM

 DubaiJazz wrote:
well, whether a marriage is arranged or arbitrary; it's still much better than fornications.

soooo true


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-19-2008, 05:06 PM
 fallacy wrote:

 DubaiJazz wrote:
well, whether a marriage is arranged or arbitrary; it's still much better than fornications.

excellent dubai........atleast the sin(fornication) is avoided.....and besides its rude to say som1 is ugly as the dude has written it somwhere up.......all Creations are nice...those who demand physical beauty are foolish to som extent.....if people are ok with arranged marriages then let them be...if you're not ok with it then keep your belief to yourself and dont call it silly just coz u dont agree to it...rather it seems to reflect how tiny your thinkin capacity and capability to respect is.......arrange marriages and love marriages both have their advantages and disadvantage.....if it gud for u then fine, if its bad then tough luck! its all on your destiny or luck or whatever u name it..

well everyone has their own point of view  we sould respect

I  100% agree, it doesn't matter   ( if the marriage is arranged or not ) it depends on each person's destiny


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-19-2008, 05:16 PM
 anas262 wrote:

ur point was not clear at the beginning of the article

u wr talkin about arranged marriage in which the parents use their mind to look for the perfect spouse to their child… but still he/she meets the other side and get to know him closely and still there is a chance to say no and call the whole thing off.. (this is what really happens in our part of the world despite what axel says)

but now seems u r talking about forcing the child to get married to some1 he/she doesn't know or doesn't LIKE..

 that was just my reply to alkhalil

No Anas it was clear ( so simple so easy ,>r u with or againts arranged marriages?) like in our days u tell your mom to look for a bride and then when she finds her u go meet her and talk to her several times till u make a decision

 


I'm better off that way

Re: Arranged marriage


AXELSTONE 05-19-2008, 05:18 PM

the marriage last coz the men use to dominate the women and make them scared of them

like almoslasalat al mot5aleefeeh like bab al 7ara that's a good example

plus things was easier then

now the number one reason for the marriage won't last is money


The Flame Of Delight Chases To Burn

Re: Arranged marriage


anas262 05-19-2008, 08:03 PM
 sweet100 wrote:

No Anas it was clear ( so simple so easy ,>r u with or againts arranged marriages?) like in our days u tell your mom to look for a bride and then when she finds her u go meet her and talk to her several times till u make a decision

well... My mom is looking as i'm talking to u

and i'm waiting for her to come back and give me the descriptions and decide

Cheers


Re: Arranged marriage


sweetgirl 05-20-2008, 07:54 AM
In my opinion, arranged marriages are only acceptable if both people willingly want to be arranged. The bigger problem as I see it is when one of the people to be arranged, is totally, hopelessly in love with another person and Indian parents vehmently object to their adult child’s choice by belittling them, bullying them, yelling at them, threating to disown them, etc. just to get their child to marry the arranged person “they” want them to marry. This sad story happens far too often

Re: Arranged marriage


sweet100 05-20-2008, 09:04 AM
 AXELSTONE wrote:

the marriage last coz the men use to dominate the women and make them scared of them

like almoslasalat al mot5aleefeeh like bab al 7ara that's a good example

plus things was easier then

now the number one reason for the marriage won't last is money

so  u think all our grand parents used to treat their wives that way?! (I don't think so)

No I guess number one reason  > is misunderstanding between the 2 of them not money

I know that's your point of view and I respect it  


I'm better off that way
 Page 1 of 2 (32 items) 1 2 >