Women top 5 lies: from the whitest down 5. I am a virgin. 4. It is so big. 3. I can't do that to my best friend. 2. I won't gain weight after marriage 1. I am coming! I am coming!!!
a homsi to a girl: i want to marry you.
girl: but i'm a year older than you
homsi: OK, i'll marry you next year!
Homsi found cigarettes in daughter’s room, said: oh God! She smokes!
Then found rum, said: oh God! She drinks.
Then he found condoms,said:oh god she has penis
A homsi booked a room in a hotel
The hotel employee carried the bags and asked to take him to the room.
Once the door is opened,
The homsi stopped, shook his head and said to the employee:
"Listen its true that I'm a stranger to this country but this
doesn't mean that you fool me and laugh at me,
I've paid over $100 for renting a nice room. This room is too
small, has no window, no bathroom and it also contains no bed...!
The hotel employee politely said: "I'm sorry sir.
This is not your room, this is the elevator...
By: KING ELI
There was an accident on the street,, so many people were around to see this accident that the victim had died right away due to the injuries... a journalist is around trying to get his first story..so he want to get by the packed people serounding the vehicle, so he comes up with a good plan.. he said( excuse me please...The victim is my father)...when he got there..the VICTIM was a DONKey....hhhh
Why did the homsi wear condoms on his ears?
- So he wouldn't get hearing aids.
yo mama was so stupid, that she sat on the tv and she watched the sofa
your mama is so dumb she climbed over a glass wall to see wuts behind it!!
By: Samir Khoury
A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's
one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says,
"Well, we have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies,
"We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave
birth to advanced mathematics."
The Italian, nodding agreement, says,
"But we built the Roman Empire"
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up
with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was
the Italians who introduced it to women."
You are sitting in a very cold house,and you have only 1 match,a peice of wood and a candle.Which would you light first,the candle or the peice of wood?
By: DDR FREAK
yo mama's so stupid, she sold her car for gas money!!
By: Julius Ceasar
A boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down, and his fly wide open.
His secretary walked up to him and said, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?"
This was not a phrase that her boss understood, so he went into his Office looking a bit puzzled.
When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up.
He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, finally understood. He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.
When he reached her desk, he said: "When you saw the garage door open did you see my jaguar parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said, "No, Boss I didn't. All I saw was a Mini with 2 flat tires."
By: safita guy
did u hear abt the blonde who shot an arrow towords the sky?................................ she missed!!!!!!
By: DDR FREAK
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car! lol!!! =}
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* 2 litres of low fat milk
* a carton of eggs
* 2 litres of orange juice
* a head of lettuce
* half a dozen tomatoes
* a 500g jar of coffee
* a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."