A very beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a building and she
falls down. On her way falling down, an American man catches her,
she says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life, I'll do ANYTHING for you...'
The man says: 'Okay then, sleep with me.'
She says : 'You PIG!! NEVER!!'
So he says : 'FINE!' and he drops her down....
So she's falling and screaming... Suddenly a German man catches her in
the air from his balcony,
she says :'Oh thank you, you saved me, I'll do anything that you ask...'
The guy says : 'Fraulein, sleep with me.'
She replies : 'Oh you nasty pig!!! NEVER!'
So the man says : 'Fine!!!' and he also drops her down again.
She's falling and thinking that it was better if she slept with one of
those men and now she's going to die. Suddenly, a man catches the woman
from his balcony,
she says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life, I'll SLEEP with you!!'
The man replies : 'AstaghfirAllah !' and he drops her..
a man tells his wife i want to put it in your ear, she says oh but i'll be deaf,he says 10 years in your mouth but you never stop talking or shouting !!!
an old man married a young lady,after the party they entered their room ,then he showed her the five fingers of his hand ,she said wow five times ! he said no u have to choose a finger !!!
By: Jorge pestona
A humsi man goes to another man and says i'm having trouble getting girls and i was wondering if you would help me. the guy said ok come with me. He took him to a place where there is alot of girls and said to one of them if you can guess what letter i am thinking of you can come to my room, and the girl says S the man says yes you got it right and leaves with her. Then the humsi man goes to a girl and asks the same question. the girl says M he says no its S.
Your so poor when i came to your house a rat jumped me and 2 cockaroaches stole my wallet.
ok a mexican guy and a black guy is in a car. who is driving????????????????????????????//
By: a donator
A man is caught in traffic when suddenly someone taps on the window.
>He lowers the window and asks what he wanted.
>The man says, President Bush was kidnapped and the ransom is $5 Million
>dollars, and that if the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have
>threatened to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire!
>"We are doing a collection, do you wish to participate?"
>The man asks "on the average what are people giving?"
>The man says "5 to 10 liters!"
why does a homsi has five deviles??
coz the first one will play with his mind, and the other four will make him understand it..
There was a blond, brunette and a redneck, all three of them worked in the same office, every day their boss left 2 hours early before the office closed, so one day all three of the women got together and decided to also cut the work day short and leave exactly 10 minuets after their boss left. So that is exactly what they did, the next day after their boss left they too left.
The redneck went to a bar
The brunette went shopping
…and the blond went home, and found her husband in bed with her boss, so the blond crept out of the house and went back to the office.
The next day all three of them got together to talk about what happened, the brunette and the redneck said, “Lets do it again today” but the blond fearfully interrupted them saying, “You girls can go along, but I can’t, I almost got caught yesterday!!”
A man goes to a shrink and says, 'Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?'
'Relax,' says the Doctor, 'take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?'
A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the afternoon
with her for $500. So they do.Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him,
but that he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her,
calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the
whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check
for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:
Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am
not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I
was under the impression that:
1.. it had never been occupied;
2.. that there was plenty of heat;
3.. that is was small enough to make me cozy.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there
wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250
with the following note:
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to
remain Unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if
you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed
of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it,
please do not blame the landlady. Send the rent in full or we will be
forced to contact your present landlady!
What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain??
Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over.
But when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.
By: steve mclaw
One time a lebnani, a syrian and a jew were on a boat sailing when they saw pirates. So they all ran and hid in bags. when the pirates came on the ship they saw these three bags and kicked the first one, the leb said meow meow. so they went onto the next one,kicked it and the syrian said woof woof. the pirates didnt want to kill animals so they went onto the next one and kicked it, the jew said patatoes patatoes.
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied,"$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
The,president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"
The old lady replied, "I make bets."
The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady , "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"
She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 am today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."
a boy was studying, when his grandma farted. he asked her what she did, and she said she breathed. the next day the boy went to school, his yeacher asked him 'from where does a human breath', he replyed, 'from my grany's ass'