By: some chic...
There was a young girl who loved to wear dresses everyday to school.
One day a boy asked her to climb the flag pole for a box of cookies.
She climbed the pole and all the boys in the schoolyard could clearly see her underpants.
When she got home she bragged to her mother that she got a box of cookies for climbing a flag pole. The mother knew that the kids just wanted to see her underpants so she told the girl not to climb the pole again.
Of course the little girl didn't believe her mom and the next day the boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of candy. She did and they all saw her underpants and laughed.
When she went home she told her mother the news. Her mother was angry. She told the girl she shouldn't climb the pole. She told her, "They just want to see your underpants and if you climb the pole again your grounded!"
The next day the same boy asked her to climb the pole for more goodies, so up the pole she went.
When she came home she told her mother what she got for climbing the pole and her mother went ape. "I told you they only wanted to see your underpants!" she raged.
"But mommy", the little girl answered, "this time I was smart enough not to wear any."
By: some chic....
ur mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
There is a good old barber in some city in the US.
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he
goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I
cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The
Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the
barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a
dozen roses waiting at his door. A policeman goes for a haircut
and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber
replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The
next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank
you card and a dozen donuts door. A Syrian software engineer goes
for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from
you. I am doing community service." The Syrian software engineer
is happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to
open his shop, guess what he finds there... Can you guess? Do you
know the answer yet?
Come on, think like a Syrian....
A dozen Syrians waiting for a haircut....
why does a game of chess take so long in homis answer:because they have to have a 3 day funiral for each peice.
Two tomatos walk in the street. A car hurt one of them.The other tell "Let's go ketchup"
what is the difference between a wife and a job? A job would still suck after 2 years!!
By: some chic...
one day a teacher told her students "i have something red, round, and hard.. can u guess?" a student raised his hand and said "a red ball??" the teacher said "no, its a red apple." she asked her students again "i have something round, hard, and green in color...wut is it??" the same student answered "a green apple?" the teacher said "nice imaginations but its a green pear...".. after that the student told the teacher that hez gonna ask her this time... so he put his hand in his pocket (jeans)and tells the class "i feel something round and hard..can u guess?" the teacher was embarrassed and she told him "go to the office" the boy was like "nice imaginations but its a COIN". LOL...(hope u guyz get it!)
What do we call a person who speaks 3 languages? Right it is Trilingual. What about a person who speaks 2 languages? Right it is Bilingual. Now what about the person who speaks 1 language? Wrong, the correct answer is "American".
there was a villiage which was about to flood. all the people knew that, so they escaped to higher grounds. there was one man who didn't want to go so he stayed on the roof of is house. his neighbours came and urged him to escape with them. but the man said " i believe in God. I believe that He will help me." so the people left him. they came back later and did the same thing but he stiil refused. then the viliage started to flood a little bit. some firefighters went on a boat and went to the man who refused. they, too, urged him to go with them to safety. but he said " i believe in God. I believe that He will save me." so the firefighters left him. a helicopter came and urged him to go with them to safety. he refused again for the same reason. so then the viliage flooded and the man died. when he went to heaven, he got very angry at God. so he wnt to God and asked Him "hey God, i believed in You. i believed that You would save me. but you didn't!" then God said "but I did help you. in fact i helped you 3 times: i sent the neighbors, the firefighters and the helicopter!"
2 men were walking down the street when they finally meet each other. They recognized the other, and started talking and saying hi. the first man said "look. i have a porblem. my job is to run 100 meters each day at work. but everyday, the shoes i wear all become dirty and useless. so i have to buy a new pair everyday. What do you think i should do?" so the second man said" i know; instead of taking 200 steps each day, why don't do take larger steps so you only have to take 100 big steps?" the first man agreed and after 6 months they met again. the first man said
"thanks for that idea. it really worked! but now i have another problem: i have to buy a new pair of pants each day!"
By: some chic...
ur mama is so fat dat wen she goes on da scale it says "2 b continued"
there was a stupid joke contest and whos ever had the stupidest joke would win $100,000,000,000,000.so the gue said, there was a man walking and then he stoped.so then he won and the next year the contest came again and he said a man was walking and then he stoped, the judges said that he said that joke last year so the man said another one stoped.
Three old men were out playing a round of golf. One of the old men went to the bathroom, while he was gone the other two men were bragging about just how successful their sons were. The first old man said "My son is a lawyer and he is so rich that recently he gave his best friend a car as a gift." The second old man said, "My son is a doctor he is so successful that he gave his best friend a brand new house as a gift." Then the third man came back and the other two men said to him.. how is your son doing? He looked sadly at them and said.. well, he is a disgrace to his family. He is currently working as an escort at a club, after all these years we found out he was gay. But I guess its not so bad his two best clients gave him a house and car as gifts!
How does the african man wakes up his son?
OUM BABA OUM, OUM BABA OUM BABA OUM
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."