there was a man sitting at a bar and every time he drank one glass of beer he would look at something in his pocket and he kept on doing this all night. so finally the bartender asked why do you keep on looking in your pocket after every drink and the man said, "i keep on looking at my wifes picture and when she looks good i'll go home".
once there was a priest teaching some little kids in the school.his subject for these liitle guys is that god exist with us everywhere.a boy asked him are you sure sir that god exist with us everywhere ,whatever we are doing ?the priest answered him yes son... then the boy asked him again does god exist with my dad in his car? the priest said yes,does god exist with us in the school?the priest said yes .the little boy asked again:does god exist with my dad in his library? the priest said yes son,the little boy said go to hell my dad doesnt own a shop!
By: Omar the king
WHY DOES A HOMSI TAKE A STICK WITH HIM TO THE DESERT?
BECAUSE IF THE SUN HITS HIM HE HITS IT BACK
A Syrian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the Syrian hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, he has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at him for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Syrian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The ٍSyrian replies. "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?".
what did the archeologists find after diggin 30km under homs??
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>homs' champion in da hide and seek<<<<<<<<<
Man to wife on wedding night - "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with ?".
"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!"
Lady: "I want a good vibrator".
Salesman: "Ma'am you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall".
Lady : "O.K. I'll take that red one".
Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher"
Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were rich, Rich men wish they were handsome, Bachelors wish they were married & Married men wish they were Dead!
Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was afternoon meal & Left leg evening meal what would you prefer?
Boyfriend: Snacking between meals
Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to come in your mind?
Husband: That you are a lesbian?
By: Big Rude
Q:What is the difference between hayfa wehbe and nancy ajram?
Why is it in Farnce, they only have one egg for breakfast?
because one egg is un oeuf!!!
By: Ziad Shmali
a woman of 85 years of age got married to a man of 90 years old.they decide to go to a honeymoon . The first night she layed over the bed and he layed next to her , he put his hand over hers than they went both in a deep sleep.
the next night, the same thing, laying over the bed next to each other, his hand over hers and went to a deep sleep again . The third night she layed, he layed next to her and as he put his hand over hers she took it away saying : " Sorry Darling, I'm tired tonight".
By: Ziad Shmali
A scientist went to tour the Jungle of the Amazon. he lost his way back and he got caught by a savage, human eaters tribe. They took him to their camp so their Chief will decide what to do with him. When the Chief saw him he ordered his people to lit up the fire so they can grill him and eat him. The scientist start begging them to let him go back to his family and kept yelling : " Please let me go back to my family...Please .. please ...please ". here the Chief changed his mind and told the Scientist: " we will set you free if you do three things , but if you fail we will eat you". " Yeah .. ok " replied the Scientist : what are they???. The Chief said : First you have to drink that full Barrel of Beer until you finish the last drop of it . - Ok.. what's next? secondly, The Chief continued: inside that tent there is a lion with a tooth pain where he couldn't eat at all for the last six months , so you are required to take the infected teeth of his mouth.- " Goodness me " replied the Scientist asking: Ok.. what is the third request"- The Chief continued : last thing , in the other tent, there is a woman of 90 years of age who never had sex in her life, you have to make love to her until she got orgasm"...
At this stage, the Scientist find himself in no other choice. So he started drinking the Beer until he finshed the whole barrel ending up completly drunk. : Ok .. said the Scientist , where is the tent of that Lion. They pushed him into the tent where for over an hour and a half they kept hearing noises & screams . suddenly The scientist comes out with a full blood over his body and everyone got surprised that he comes out alive than he asked them : OK now... where is that old lady with the tooth pain ????
A MAN FROM HORAN ONCE HE COME TO AMIRECA.WHEN HE WENT BACK TO HORAN THEY
ASK HIM WHAT DID YOU GET NEW FROM THE USA ?
HE SAID A KILOT(UNDER).
SO HE TAKE IT OF AND SHOW IT TO HIS FRINDES!
ALL LOOKS AT HIM AND THEY ASK HOW DO YOU USE THIS?
HE SIAD THE YELOW FROM THE FRONT ,THE BROWN IS BACK......