By: the d'oohka
Three British gentlemen, one from Ireland, one from Wales and the other from England found them selves lost in the jungle in zimbabwe. Not before too long they strayed into the hands of a primitive tribe of 300 black men and their leader 'Tibombo'. The British men were extremely terrified. Tibombo shouted to each man in turn 'you have 2 options. either you DIE HERE or you may take WONGA'. The 3 men were all trembling at this point. The first guy, from Wales said ' please! i don't want to die...i'll take the wonga'. Tibombo made a hand signal and the 300 tribal men all attacked the poor man savagly and had sex with his bottom. The poor chap staggered off traumatized into the jungle. the second chap, from Ireland said 'god help me, and bless my bottom to survive this terrible fate..i dont want to die, i'll take the wonga too' so the 300 tribesmen gave him the wonga. The third man from England, lookng down on his countrymen and thinking that wonga was too degrading a zimbabween' punishment said to Tibombo ' I WOULD RATHER DIE FOR MY QUEEN AND COUNTRY THAN HAVE YOUR WONGA LIKE THESE FOOLS' so tibombo turned to his men and said 'kill the English man with wonga'
By: Walter Alomar
Once upon a time, an old man called his younger son for a trek to the mountains. Before they started the old man said: "When we finish this voyage you will know the lessons of life".
So, they reached this wonderfull place and the old man said: "Please, climb to the top of the rock and leap to your father arms, believe me, I will wait for you". The son faithfully complies, but just when the kid leaped, the old man stepped to the side. As a result the kid landed heavily on the rocks.
The old man approached his son and said: "My son this was the first lesson in life, do not even trust in your father..."
a teacher was teaching her KG students what honey is.. she got some honey to class and asked her students to taste the honey in order to identify it but it was useless.. so she told them she would give them hints.. she said: it is what ur dad calls ur mom at home.. a girl suddenly shouted in horror.. spit them, they are assholes... :))))
A syrian guy met a girl and asked for her name.. she wanted to tease him so she told him he name was something round and has a smell.. he looked at her shocked and puzzled... he said:"Dont tell me ur parents have named u shit!"
Here are 4 funny phone answering machine messages:
1. Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
2. Hi, this is John. If you are the phone company, I've already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money.If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.If you are my friends,you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
3. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Eight-year old little Mary and her mother are walking through the mall together one-day.
“Mommy”, says the little Marry, “how old are you?”
“I’m not saying.”
“Why not?” demands the child.
“Well, that is something you will understand one day when you are grown-up.”
“Mommy,” asks Mary again, “how much do you weigh?”
“Never mind,” answers the mother.
“Why can’t you tell me?”
“Because grown-ups never talk about how much they weigh. This is something you will learn and understand someday.”
“Mommy,” insists the child, “can you tell me why you and Daddy got divorced?”
“Darling,” responds the mother in exasperation, “that’s something still very painful for Mommy, and I really just can’t talk about it now.”
A few days later, Little Mary recounts her conservation to a friend at school. The friend explains how to overcome the problems.
“All you have to do is get your mother’s driver’s license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it. You just read it like a report card and it’ll give you anything you need.”
So little Mary does as her friend recommended. That night she sneaks into her mother’s room while her Mom was cooking dinner. She rummages throw her purse and finds the driver’s license.
After examining it carefully she walks up to her mother and says, “I know how old you are! You are 35!”
The mother is very surprised. “And, I know how much you weigh. You weigh 136 pounds, right?”
The mother is shocked.
“And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.”
The mother, dumbfounded, asked, “Why?”
“It’s because you got an F in Sex.”
By: napalm death
What's the difference between :
Hayfa's clip and the porno video?
the porno has a better music
Once a Homsi went into a stadium where a football game was being played and he kept on waving his BIG BLACK FLAG, why..??!!
because he was cheering the referee... :D
A Tourist walked into a Spanish Resturant. The Guy next to him was eating a very tempting looking dish. So he called the Waiter and asked him to get him the same. The Waiter appologized and told that these are the Balls of the Bull that died in the Bull-Fight today and if he wanted the same dish he should come back the next day. The Tourist came back the next day and enjoyed his dish alot. He then asked the Waiter why the dish was a smaller portion from yesterdays. The Waiter replayed"Well Sir, somtimes the Bull wins !!!
By: FOUAD BASRAWI
why the homsi put his mobil phone out of the window?
because he is waiting out call
Once there was two young brothers who cause plenty of trouble in their village and every incident that happens the two brothers were always blamed.So once the parents decided to take one of the brothers to the priest who might help them to pass their foolishness and stuborness in breaking the law of their village.So the priest asked the boy:"where is Jesus?And the boy said:I do not know so the priest asked again and again and the same answer was given all the time:I do not know then the boy got scared and ran away straight to his brother and told him:hurry up brother we must run away and leave this village because it seems that jesus is lost and they are putting the blame upon us.
homsy living in states wanted to visit disneyland,so he drove his car going to there,on the road he read a sign saying(disneyland left) so he went back home!:)
Saddam Hussein agreed to leave Baghdad on one condition that he moves to the white house.
An Iraqi was sleeping with an American girl the girl said: "come on, push push..." he replied "Saddam Saddam"
why one homsi with 10 years old is more intelligent than an another with 90 years old? Because he has not been a homsi for a long time!!!