By: Ramia Kamaria
A Homsi went into an underwear shop and asked the owner "how much are the undergarments?" The owner replied, "the undershirts are 500 syrian pounds and the underwear are 500 syrian pounds."
The Homsi didn't buy anything, he just said ok and left. The next day the same Homsi went to the same shop and asked the same owner the same question. The owner gave him the same answer.
The Homsi said ok and left. The Homsi repeated this for two more days and on the fifth day he walked in and asked, "how much are your undergarments?" This time the owner replied, "the undershirts are 750 syrian pounds and the underwear are 250 syrian pounds." The Homsi said "how come you raised the undershirt and lowered the underwear?" The owner replied, "so you can kiss my a--."
Someone told his Homsi friend your wife and your best friend are in the forest together...
The Homsi runs to the forest and after 5 minutes he cames back and says: there is only 2 trees and you say forest !!
By: Mehmet Kaya
A Homsi said that he can built a spaceship intending to fly up to the sun, but scientists from the world said: How can u do it ? The sun will burn you. The Homsi said it is easy!! I'll fly there at night!
By: Ramia Kamaria
Q: Why do you think people aren't afraid to put homsi jokes on the internet?
A: Because the internet didn't get to Homs yet
By: Ali Latife
Q: Why did the Homsi put 2 TV's on top of each other?
A: So he can see the reporters legs.
By: Ramia Kamaria
A homsi went to a taylor with a piece of cloth. He asked the taylor if he can make him a suit out of the cloth he bought. The taylor said, "no, the cloth is too small." Then the guy went to another taylor. He asked the second taylor if the piece of cloth is enough to make a suit. The second taylor said, "yes, it is enough." One week later, he came back to the taylor to get the suit. He asked the second taylor, "was the cloth enough to make the suit?" The taylor replied, "yes, do you see the suit that my seven year old son is wearing?" "Yes, the homsi replied. "I made that suit for him out of the cloth that was leftover from your suit." "Wow", said the homsi. "Why did the first taylor tell me it wasn't enough." "I don't know", said the second taylor. That same day, the homsi went back to the first taylor and asked him, "why did you tell me that the cloth wasn't enough for my suit. I went to another taylor after that and he made a suit for me and a suit for his seven year old son." The first taylor answered, "Yeah, his son is seven but my son is fourteen
By: J. Khabbaz
A Frenchman, an Italian and a Homsi walk into a motel and ask for a room. The owner says "Alright, but my beautifful daughter is sleeping upstairs. If any of you even go look at her sleeping I'll kill you all!" The three travellers agreed and got the room with the staircase leading up to the beautifful daughter. Of course, they were to curious and decided to each take a quick look and get back to their beds before the owner caught them. First the Frenchman went up the staircase. But when he was almost to the top, the stair creaked loudly and the owner shouted "Who made that noise!? I'll kill you!" So the Frenchman answered "Meow!" And the owner thought it was just his little cat. When he got dowstairs he told the Italian of the owner's daughter's beauty and warned him about the creaky stair. So the Italian did the same as the Frenchman and pretended to be a little cat when the stair creaked. Last it was the Homsi's turn. So the Italian tells him "When the owner shouts, just pretend it's the cat, and we will not all be killed." So the Homsi goes up the stairs and sure enough the last step creaks loudly. The owner shouts "Who made that noise!? I'll kill you!" The Homsi confidently answers "The cat!".
A Homsi girl enter the shop and asks: Do you have a card saying " to my only love " The shop keeper said: Yes. The girl said: so give me 12.
A Homsi wanted to cut the ocean swimming..after he cut nearly 3/4 the ocean he felt very tired , so he changed his mind, and turned back.
By: Hussain Hadi
Q: Why did the Homsi put a bowl of salad on top of the T.V.
A: So he will have a coloured T.V.
A Homsi woman went to the department store. She asked the salesman, "How much is that TV?" He replied, "I'm not going to sell it to you." Puzzled, she went and got her hair done and changed clothes. She came back and asked him again the price of the TV, getting the same response. So she got her hair died and came back. Again when she inquired about the TV he replied that he wouldn't sell it to her. So she bought a hat and sunglasses and a fake moustache. The man said, "I am STILL not going to sell it to you!". Taking off her glasses she asked him, "How do you know it's me???"
The salesman responded, "Because that's not a TV. It's a microwave
By: Hussain Hadi
A Homsi went to an Arabic Restaurant and asked the owner "do you have 500 Falafel sandwiches?" The owner replied, "no I don't have that much Falafel sandwiches ready, would like to wait and I'll make'em for you" The Homsi replied, "no and left" The Homsi repeated that for 4 days. The fifth day the owner said to him self " what da hell why don't I make these sandwiches ready so when this guy comes I'll sell it to him and make some money, so he made 500 Falafel sandwiches. The Homsi guy comes again and askes the owner "do you have 500 Falafel sandwiches?" The owner replied, "yes sir I do" The Homsi guy goes like wowwwwwwww thats plenty of Falafel :))))
All the Arab leaders had a meeting to unit all the arab country into one big nation but they could not find a flag so they cancelled the project.
By: Frank G
An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert, without finding a source of water it gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He is crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last breath when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers that he has a Manischewitz wine bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie - - - But this is no ordinary genie! This genie appears to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.,
"Well kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!"
"What have you got to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The Arab thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
"Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."
POOF! The Arab finds himself in the most beautiful oasis has ever seen and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
"Okay kid, what's your second wish?"
"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."
POOF! The Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
"Okay kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says,"I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will always need and want me!!!
POOF! He turned into a tampon.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:If you do business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached
Q:why does a Homsi take a scruedriver with him to go fishing
A: He might need it