Abu El Abed, the Manager of HMO
As a manager of a major Health Maintenance Organization (HMO), Abu El Abed (AA) found himself at the mercy of Saint Peter (SP) when he died. His two buddies, Abu Steif (AS) and Abu Zakaria (AZ), were also there.
Saint Peter: Ya Abu Steif, leish bitfakker inno btistahel tfoot 3ala al janneh? (Why do you think you deserve to enter into heaven?)
Abu Steif: Imshan ana kent tabeeb (Doctor) wa as3afet nas kteir. (Because I was a doctor and I saved lots of lives)
SP: ra7h khallik tfoot, tfadthal (you deserve passage, come right in)
SP: Ya Abu Zakariah, leish bitfakker inno btistahel tfoot 3ala al janneh? (Why do you believe that you deserve entrance to heaven?)
Abu Zakariah: Imshan ana kent mu7hamy wa angazet nas bare'a min el 3adam (Because I was an attorney and I saved a lot of innocent victims from the death penalty)
SP: Bheillak tfoot, tfadthal (You deserve passage, come right in)
SP: Ya Abu El Abed, leish bitfakker innak btistahel tfoot 3ala el janneh? (Why do you think you deserve passage into heaven?)
Abu El Abed: Imshan ana kent mas'ool 3an as3ar el teb wal mustashfayat (because as an HMO consultant I was in charge of keeping medical expenses to a minimum and hospital costs down)
SP: Bi7i2ilak tfoot, bas tlat iyyam (You deserve to come in, but only for three days)
Q: What is the difference btwn. Bill Clinton and a Homsi?
A: A Homsi knows how to smoke a cigar!
Q: Why does the Homsi take a table spoon with him in the shower?
A: To mix the hot and the cold water.
A Homsi, a Russian, and an Italian go to a mashine that beeps everytime you tell a lie. First out is the Russian:
-"I think I'm beautiful!"
The goes the Italian:
-"I think I'm smart!"
Finally it's time for the Homsi:
THEY were 2 people from Aleppo and they were fighting the first person said that is sun and the second person said no that is moon and then a Homsi walk next to them and ask them why you are fighting for ??? and they said what is that is that moon or is that sun ?he said i am not from this city
There was a big pothole some where in middle of Homs and all the Homsi people were falling in it and badly injuring them self, they didn't know how to avoid the injury. One day the Mayor of Homis called for immediate metting, and the result was to send the smartest Homsi to the best University in America to become an engineer and find the selution for that matter. The Homsi came back after 4 years and everyone was waiting there for him in the air port incloding the mayor. After a great night dinner the mayer goes to him, "tell me my dear son what did you learn? What would be the solution to avoid all the injurys from the pothole" The Homsi replied, "Mr Mayor the only solution to avoid all these injurys is to build a hospital next to that pothole:)))
A Quiz-show in Homs. The quiz-master asks a Homsian: "How much is 2*2?"
The Homsian: "3?"
The Homsians in the quiz-room: "Give him another chance, give him another chance..."
So the master asks again, and the Homsian says: "5?"
The Homsians in the quiz-room again: "Give him another chance, give him another chance..."
Ok, the master asks a third time, and finally the Homsian answers: "4?"
And the Homsians in the show: "Give him another chance, give him another chance..."
Once the Homsies got together and everytime they get together they have to say the same jokes over and over. So they decided to number there jokes. One day they were sitting in the coffee shop and one guy got up and said joke number two so everyone started laughing anothere guy got up and said joke number twelve so everyone started laughting and stopped but one guy kept, didn't stop laughing so they were surprised. They asked him why are you still laghuing her replied because I never heard such a joke before
By: Fadi T.
There was a German, an American and a Homsi on death row. The Warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1) to be shot,
2) to be hung,
3) to be injected with the AIDS virus.
The German said, "Shoot me right in the head." (Boom...He was dead instantly).
The American said, "Just hang me."
(Snap...He was dead).
The Homsi said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff".
They gave him his first shot and he fell down
laughing, the guards looked at each other and The
Homsi said "give me another one of those shots" , so the guards did, now he was laughing so hard he almost peed in his pants. Finally the Warden said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
The Homsi replied, "You guys are so stupid. I'm
wearing a condom!"
Someday there was a Homsi women who bring a child to world..and he was tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ugly....nobody told her that her son is pretty..so someday she want to bring some fruits..and the shopkeeper told her ..oh what a pretty baby he is so so so so so beautiful so he give him a banana she told him ...no he dont eat banana...so he told her why isn't he a monkey..
By: zeinab aslan
Shall i telll you a Homsi joke in the opposite direction! laugh first. haaaaa!haaaaaaa!haaaa!
By: Elie AGA
One day a Homsi was feeling so hungry, so he decided to enter to a fast food restaurant, when he entered he read a paper that says Fish Burger so after thinking he said to himself "oh well" turned around and left hungry
Their were 2 Homsi brothers,one of them had very big balls,the other had small balls,so they went to the doctor ,they told them their complains that my balls were too big and the other were too small so the doctor gave each of them a medicine.
After one week they went to the doctor and he askes the first brother ,what happened?he said :they became really small,then the doctor asked:where is ur brother?he is carrying his balls in the Honda!!
There was a homsi who bought a new closet. The new closet had a mirror set in it. When the homsi came to open the door he jumped back and slammed the door. He went to the police station and reported to the police officer that there was a thief in his closet. So he brought the police officer with him to check it out. When the officer opened the closet door, he said to the homsi "what do you need me for, you already have the cops here"
Q:how do you get a Homsi out of the bath tub?
A:Turn the water on.