By: Fadi T.
You know you are an Arab when:
1. You make Turkish coffee before leaving home, when getting to the office,after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave, after the guests leave and before going to bed.
2. When shops have sale they call your mom.
3. You still have, stored in suitcases, clothes that you used to wear when you were five .
4. You call an older person you've never met before"Ammo" or "Khaltu".
5. You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they know everything about you, and make you beleive that they actually do.
6. People are never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "Oqbal el Shahadeh el kbeereh", and when u get that "Oqbal el Aroos or Areees", and when you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be Aoulad-kum", and when you get that "Oqbal ma tefrahu bi shahadit-hum", etc..
7. If you are a boy you start worrying about the Mukhabarat when you reach puberty.
8. Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook"
9. You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.
10. You dream of holding a different passport.
11. When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the airport.
12.Everytime you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing like your family.
13. You look for universities as far away from home as possible.
14. You always curse at Arabs when you are back home, but when you live abroad you only make Arab friends.
15. When you come back from University you still have to live with your parents, and fight over curfew allover again, as if you never left them before.
16. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
17. Everyone is a family friend.
18. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
19. You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.
20. When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to so you won't bump into family or friends.
21. You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth.
22. You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in public.
23. If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.
24. Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents.
25. You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you can't even stay out past midnight.
26 You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light on" or "get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."
27. You pronounce your p's as b's ( bolice and airblane)
28. You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
29. Your parents were ranked first in school.
30 Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself. ( Ibnil kalb)
31. You tell everyone that you are a "successful businessman back home" when you are really just a grocer.
32. You feel uncomfortable saying the word 'tease' in english.
33. You go large at McDonalds even when you're not hungry.
34. You smoke as if theres no tommorrow and you only smoke MARLBORO REDS.
35. You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really really loud in arabic together.
36. You wear a black leather jacket, even when it is 100 degrees outside.
37. you think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
38. If you are an Arab girl you give the look of death to another Arab girl who looks better than you.
39. Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding